Decided that if I am going to take quitting smoking seriously, I should write about it. Remind myself that this is real and it's happening, and it's my life. My decision. My responsibility.
On average as a smoker, I would smoke between five and eight cigarettes in a day. These are non-drinking Monday through Friday habits. Weekends, particularly when drinking, I would sometimes smoke close to a pack a night. Festivals? Forget it. At LEAST a pack a day. On the other hand, if I were doing stuff or out of cigarettes, I could easily go more than 24 hours without smoking and not lose my mind.
I started administering 1mg of Chantix on 4/5. Dose is to double on 4/13. Typically, on this medication, it is "permitted" that one continue smoking for the first week.
Days 1 and 2: I didn't notice many side effects beyond slight nausea upon first taking the medicine. This could have nothing to do with the contents of the medication itself, but my body's response. I typically do whatever I can to avoid taking even Ibuprofen, so this is going to be a big change for my body. I smoked normally, no change in habits.
Day 3: I noticed dry mouth, and a strange taste. Nothing too terrible, and it went away with a sip of water each time. I made a conscious effort to smoke less. Smoked 4 cigarettes. Did notice a difference in the ways they began to taste. Had first one of the vivid nightmares I'd read so much about (Vivid dreaming/nightmares are the most commonly reported side-effect in Chantix users). Terribly frightening, but not nearly enough to stray me from continuing taking it. The scariest part about the dream was knowing I was dreaming but not being able to "take the wheel" the way I have in Lucid states in the past. Not sure if that was the medication blocking my interference, or just that I'm out of practice in dream state. More experimentation required. Over all, I still felt I got a whole night's sleep, and awoke feeling normally-rested.
Day 4: Intentionally put off the cigarette on the ride to work, the beginning of my "daily smoking routine". Other than the psychological notice of change, there was no extreme discomfort. Passed on the opportunity as other smokers went out for their first break of the morning (9:00 am) but joined them on their second (11:30 am). Found myself not wanting to finish, and put it out half way through. Did notice the foul taste in my mouth a few minutes later.. this time it was a very distinct cigarette/ashtray taste. Very unappealing. It's currently 1:46 pm and I am trying to fight the urge to go smoke now. Though I am still having trouble discerning if this is my brain being used to the habit, if my body actually craves the nicotine. Physically I am not feeling anxious or jittery the way I have in nic-fits past. Just bored, mostly.
I have begun to chew on thin red coffee straws to occupy my mouth. Can't yet tell if it's helping. If things continue as they have been, the biggest struggle will be forming new habits to fill the time periods when I would typically be smoking. I think I can manage that.
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