Quitting Smoking: Entry 3

Day 8 was sort of a breeze. Mostly because I shut myself inside with a book as soon as I got home from work, and didn't really even move until I decided to go to sleep. However, in my sleep I did find myself conscious of dreaming, and again attempted to control my dreams. It was difficult (getting completely "in control" when I'm lucid has never been easy, but possible) and there were quite a bit of details I could not change, despite my efforts. I do recall waking more than once, and quickly would return to conscious dreamstate. The dream could have been scary were I not aware of and attempting to control it. I guess I need to get laid more, because when I'm lucid that's typically the first thing I try to do. lol. It worked, but it was gross. Incase you were wondering.

Day 9, I have found myself virtually craving-free. The scent of smokers as they are just returning from their smoke-break is enough to keep them at bay when they come. The driving thing is still an adjustment, as well as post-meal. I did take my book outside for a bit to still enjoy the break in my workday.

I think if things continue at this rate, I will cease taking the Chantix in a week or so. I guess I was supposed to start taking two pills a day (2 mg) today, but I don't really see there being a need for that, considering I haven't smoked for a few days anyway, and the desire is beginning to curb. I won't lie though, the IDEA of smoking is still appealing. I'm just the type of person who is stubborn enough to stick to something once I set my mind to it, even if it goes against my desire "in the moment". The real test will be when I am no longer on the Chantix at all, and drinking. I hope I am strong enough!

Quitting Smoking: Entry 2

So the remainder of day 4 was relatively un-eventful. I did end up smoking sometime around 3 pm and found myself dissatisfied. I put it out less than half way through and disgarded the remainder. I did not smoke on at all for the remainder of the evening. I also did not notice any strange dreams or other ill-effects.

Day 5 was stressful. I bought a new car that day. I had been very stressed out with getting my old car prepared for trade-in, and attempting to get my home in order for a party that evening. I found myself increasingly irritable, though I am unsure if it was circumstance alone making me feel that way. I was dreading the party, and found myself attempting to isolate. I had some friends show up, and made the best of it, but for the most part I was ready to have it all over with before it even began. I did attempt to smoke a few times throughout the evening, but always found myself put-off early on, and quickly distinguished my cigarette after lighting it. No trouble sleeping or with dreams, though I do recall a bit of intensity in one dream. Nothing even comparible to the nightmare before.

Day 6, I did not smoke. There were a few moments where I wanted to, but they passed quickly as I just kept myself occupied through the cravings.

Day 7, I made it through my entire workday without smoking. Did smoke a bit after work with a friend, though it made me feel even worse than the last time I'd smoked, so I stopped.

So far, I'm well over half way through my workday on day 8, and this is feeling more and more realistic. Though I do still find myself a bit irritable, I am confident that that will fade. For all I know it could be hormonal. With the transition to a new vehicle, it's been easier to set that boundry and a new set of habits in regards to driving. My new car has never been a car I've smoked in. I've also been more conscious in my eating habits. Figure if all of this stuff is going to change, may as may get it all over with at once!

Have to say, it does feel pretty good. Already I can smell a difference. Particularly in smoke smells on others. It's awful!

Quit Smoking Journal : Entry 1

Decided that if I am going to take quitting smoking seriously, I should write about it. Remind myself that this is real and it's happening, and it's my life. My decision. My responsibility.

On average as a smoker, I would smoke between five and eight cigarettes in a day. These are non-drinking Monday through Friday habits. Weekends, particularly when drinking, I would sometimes smoke close to a pack a night. Festivals? Forget it. At LEAST a pack a day. On the other hand, if I were doing stuff or out of cigarettes, I could easily go more than 24 hours without smoking and not lose my mind.

I started administering 1mg of Chantix on 4/5. Dose is to double on 4/13. Typically, on this medication, it is "permitted" that one continue smoking for the first week.

Days 1 and 2: I didn't notice many side effects beyond slight nausea upon first taking the medicine. This could have nothing to do with the contents of the medication itself, but my body's response. I typically do whatever I can to avoid taking even Ibuprofen, so this is going to be a big change for my body. I smoked normally, no change in habits.

Day 3: I noticed dry mouth, and a strange taste. Nothing too terrible, and it went away with a sip of water each time. I made a conscious effort to smoke less. Smoked 4 cigarettes. Did notice a difference in the ways they began to taste. Had first one of the vivid nightmares I'd read so much about (Vivid dreaming/nightmares are the most commonly reported side-effect in Chantix users). Terribly frightening, but not nearly enough to stray me from continuing taking it. The scariest part about the dream was knowing I was dreaming but not being able to "take the wheel" the way I have in Lucid states in the past. Not sure if that was the medication blocking my interference, or just that I'm out of practice in dream state. More experimentation required. Over all, I still felt I got a whole night's sleep, and awoke feeling normally-rested.

Day 4: Intentionally put off the cigarette on the ride to work, the beginning of my "daily smoking routine". Other than the psychological notice of change, there was no extreme discomfort. Passed on the opportunity as other smokers went out for their first break of the morning (9:00 am) but joined them on their second (11:30 am). Found myself not wanting to finish, and put it out half way through. Did notice the foul taste in my mouth a few minutes later.. this time it was a very distinct cigarette/ashtray taste. Very unappealing. It's currently 1:46 pm and I am trying to fight the urge to go smoke now. Though I am still having trouble discerning if this is my brain being used to the habit, if my body actually craves the nicotine. Physically I am not feeling anxious or jittery the way I have in nic-fits past. Just bored, mostly.

I have begun to chew on thin red coffee straws to occupy my mouth. Can't yet tell if it's helping. If things continue as they have been, the biggest struggle will be forming new habits to fill the time periods when I would typically be smoking. I think I can manage that.