Wednesday.. trudging right over that hump.

Did I forget to mention that my mama's getting married here soon? She and Tim got engaged early February, and are planning their futures together as we speak. Mom sold her house and is to be out completely by Friday! Oh, dear.. so bittersweet. I stopped by last night to say goodbye to my childhood home so chuck-full of memories. I walked through the huge backyard and pondered all of the good times. Our old swing set. The fort. The tree that once sat in our living room with presents surrounding it at Christmas time, once so tiny. Now standing easily 4 feet above my head. Little Jersey. Everything is different. Everything is changing. It's amazing how refreshing it is. Maybe I'm detached? I don't know. It all just seems "okay". Nothing spectacular. Nothing ordinary.

Found the most beautiful, eccentric, fabulous, LOUD victiorian dress to wear to Hope and George's wedding in June. I am bursting with excitement! Actual garment is much larger/bustier, obviously, as I am... but OMG. Hope has granted me permission, she's even more extravagant than I (far more, really) and she loves it. This makes life even better.

Apparently my dog ate $200.00 this morning.. not so cool. Big trouble, Mister!

What else? Dinner tonight with Erin and the kiddies. I used to nanny for these 4 munchkins and I love them all to bits! Layla's first grade class does "teach & tell" on Fridays (formerly known as Show & Tell) and wants to teach her class about me! "Jordeenie!" She's the cutest freakin' thing. Everyone thinks she's my daughter she looks so much like me. She's not though, as far as I know.

Zoo is playing around with Hope and George (and their 2 mutts ZoZo and Pyro), so I'll be picking him up later this evening and he can tell me all about it! I am so fortunate.. life is kind.

Hope Wednesday is rolling smoothly for all of you! Stay positive, the weekend's officially in sight!

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday night Stu and I went out to the most delicious sushi dinner I've had in a very long time! I Love Sushi was kind of a miss the first round, but I think our good experience can be acredited to our chef, Tony! He was a fantastic, funny, smart-ass of a sushi chef, and very FAST too. (just how we like it!) He reminded me of Hiro Nakamura.So adorable! He kept giving us little surprise treats in between our ordering rolls. Such a great time!

Afterwards, we went home and watched an episode of Heroes (see Hiro, above) before remembering that our dear friend Sunyin was creating quite a buzz with hints about opening her own bar on her facebook page this week. We pull up the FB, and there it is! Sun is now the proud owner of The Jackaloupe. This is a huge deal for Sun, something she's dreamed of for over 10 years. Due to some interesting circumstance and shady business at her previous employer, this opportunity just fell into her lap. I'm so happy for her. She deserves all the success in the world! We stopped in for a celebratory toast. Fun times!

Saturday morning was fantastic, also. Slept in until 11:30 I think. I never get the chance to sleep in anymore, and AH! I love my sleep. Once I awoke the morning was quite hectic. I had plans to be at earth jam with about a thousand people it seemed. I dressed quickly, got the dogs taken care of (way later than they are used to, poor loves), and headed to Liberty Park for the fun celebration. In my haste to get there, I forgot that I was supposed to pick up Christie! How terrible of me, she has been having a rough time and I am so wrapped up in myself that I didn't even think of it until she called me! Thank goodness she was already there. I took Zoo with me and he loved it. So much, in fact that he was kind of driving me crazy trying to pull me all over the place. He normally does so well on the leash, but I think with all of the distraction it was just too much to bear. Festivities were much fun, I ran into a lot of people I adore and haven't seen for some time. Even got to hang out with my favorite kids in the world! We hung out until about 5:00 before I decided to take him home.

Stu and Aaron had been out shooting guns all day with Stu's dad and brother. He was so high from the rush, it's all they could talk about for hours! It made me so happy to see him so lit up about it. What a fun day, all in all. I had been stewing a huge pot of marinara all day, so I made some side dishes and we all ate together. Something about cooking for a group of people just feels so good. I wish I could do it everyday! We watched A Scanner Darkly, moved some furniture around, cleaned house and just vegged for the rest of the night.


Sundays have become my new day to look forward to each week. My brother was a late bloomer, I don't even think he started drinking until he was legally of age. This sounds practical in sentence form, but seems out of the ordinary these days. It didn't take long to notice that he wasn't just a casual drinker. He drank until the bottle was empty (and whatever else was within reach). Over the past few years his drinking became more and more of a problem. A true source of worry for all who loved him. Anyone who knows and loves an alcoholic knows first-hand, they are the most selfish people on the planet when it comes to their drinking. We did everything we knew how to help him, but it really boiled down to his desire to get sober, which wasn't there until recently.

Last year sometime, he met a girl from Arizona, fell in distant love with her, and decided to take the leap and move down AZ to be with her. It wasn't long before she noticed his drinking problem, and it caused a major blockage in their relationship, and I believe it was almost exactly two months later that he came home. Little did I know it was with the intention of seeking help. His stay at Valley Camp was a God-send, to say the least. It's not a rehab facility. There are no doctors present, no aids to help the body along in it's process of detoxification. They are not held there against their will.

The compound was purchased by a man named Bill. Bill's story is the first in the A.A. Big Book, and is one that resonates well with most alcoholics, whether recovering or not. It's a place of real peace and compassion. My brother is there with 9 other recovering alcoholics, all with sobriety dates ranging between 1 and 89 days. Most of them are in his age group, and he seems to be connecting well with them. One in particular, named Aaron, he seems to have developed a close bond with. They play ping-pong, lift weights, play cards, watch movies (after 4 pm), and essentially spend their 90 days learning to cope with the boredom that comes with being sober. They each told me that in the times they are most bored, that's when they would use. "It's 90 days for the rest of your life," they say. Anyway, the facility itself is really fantastic. They have a fire pit, lots of beautiful scenery, even a river flowing right through the center. On my first visit, Brother walked me along the trail, pointing out his favorite places to sit and reflect on what he's learning. He's found a sponsor and seems to be working hard to chip away at completing his steps.

He told me last Sunday, "In the meetings, when someone gets up and talks, no matter who they are or where they come from, there is a huge part of me that can relate. We all have the same story. Those meetings.. they feel almost as good as being drunk. In some ways, they feel even better." It took all of my strength not to cry! All of the countless prayers, pleading for my brother to find the strength in himself to get help, that statement was proof of they were answered! Each time I visit I notice more changes in him, and in the other boys, too.

I'll do whatever I can to help support my brother in his sobriety. I'll quit drinking myself. Anything. Valley Camp is such a warm place, the first thing I thought when I got there and he was telling me about how it all worked, I thought to myself, "I wonder how I could get involved in something like this." Seems like because I am not an addict (of alcohol, at least) I would not be an effective mentor for the newcomers, for those struggling every minute to stay above water. "One day at a time," he says with a smile. "I'll take another 24," his new buddy echoes behind him. My heart weeps with gratitude.

A breath anew

I've been lurking a series of blogs for some time now, feeling too timid in my voice as of late to find comfort in publicity. Today, as the rain washed the ground clean and the sun returned, I remembered that if I can only find the courage to speak freely and be authentic in my voice, maybe someone can be affected by my voice in a way not too different from what I've found in others. Inspiration, empathy, laughter, excitement, the common connection amongst strangers, being validated in my moments..both wildly crazy and wickedly sane? Welcome to Blogsville. Here's to hoping I'm persistent enough to become an ever-taboo word... the avid, active BLOGGER!

Let us start with some catch-up:

Yesterday Stu and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. What a year it has been, I'll tell you what! I'll just say that Stu is officially the longest relationship I've ever had.. This is both frightening and exciting. Now when people ask, I can at least use the word "year" other than "x-amount of months." No longer can I say I'm a professional at non-relationships. No longer am I "perpetually single". I've settled quite comfortably into girlfriendhood, and I'll just say that I'm pretty comfortable and stable in that role.

Zoo is over 6 months old now.. and alarmingly huge. As of Sunday (and an unexpected vet visit)he weighs in at 43 lbs. He's pretty much the best looking dog on the planet. Very well mannered, too! I won't lie though, he can be a total turdface at times. His favorite no-no items to chew on? Paper! Paper of any sort! Such a freak. I love it. He has not shown any signs of other-animal aggression, but he's so used to playing with Lexi (his mama) that he plays a little too rough for little dogs. This scares me. I'm trying to socialize him as much as I can. His balls are on the snip-list. I pray that helps now and in the long run. I don't want him to have to miss out on anything because he fits the mold for the ever-hated aggressive Pitbull. But, OH! Look at that sweet face! How could you not love him?

I've kind of fallen off of the wagon this past winter when it comes to keeping my valuable relationships greased up and in working order. Now that glorious SPRING is here, there are no excuses to be made when it comes to the neglect of my friends. This delights me. I can't wait to fall back into the niche of laughter and constant fun-poking. In my circle, if you're not talking trash, you're probably not real friends! Hah!

Festival season is embarking upon us, and I couldn't be more elated to welcome it! Earth Jam (a local art fest here in SLC) kicks it off this weekend. Very small scale, but "everybody who is anybody" will be there, and it's a really fun one to begin the season of "running into" folks you only see in the festival circles. Desert Rocks is just over a month away. Can I get a hell yeah? Stu is still on and then off and then on the fence in regards to coming. At this point, it matters not to me. I am bound and determined to have a good time this year. Some of my oldest and dearest friends are attending! These are people I've been dreaming of introducing to one another for YEARS. What a fabulous venue to do it! I have my BM ticket )'( and I am instilling the utmost of faith that the divine universe will help everything else along.

My brother is in an alcohol treatment program, which is honestly the most amazing thing that's happening in my life right now.. and it's not even "my" life! I've been worried sick and praying for him for a long time now. This decision was his and he seems to be getting a lot out of the program. If you have some time and you're the praying type, I'd like to ask you say an extra word or two in Ty's honor. I've been going up there and spending my Sundays with him, and it just feels so good to see his progress and get a feel for what it is he's doing to work through his struggle with this life-wrecking disease. More details on this to come, I'm sure.

..And my mama's getting married! She just sold my childhood home (sadface), and things are changing as rapidly as the seasons.

All feels just fine in these parts today. I have a good job. I mean, it's not my dream job or anything, but it's a good job and it pays. I'm blessed enough to know that as a blessing today. I have the best family. My friends love me despite my absence. Generally speaking, things are fantastic! My only complaints are merely cosmetic, and I can't bitch at the scale for displaying the numbers, if you know what I mean. I'm juggling the options of learning to love my body and all of it's bigness.. or actively DO something about it. Of course, this debate has mostly been done in a seated position.. so obviously I haven't reached my conclusion yet!

Either way, good things are on the horizon.. I can taste it.

(Pic not really related. My eye hurt, so Stu made me a patch!)